Do you ever have one of the days where everything inside you actually lives in a different time? Sometimes I feel like the same thing that happens with my clothing happens with my heart. At the time, I was convinced that whatever completely crazy outfit I wore was totally amazing. In those moments I was totally sure of myself, where I was going and what I was doing.
Then I look back a year or 10 and laugh at myself. Why was my hair like that? Did I think that was a good outfit?
Same with my heart. I have been working on releasing RRR 2.0 and looking back on this book, and looking forward to the things I added, is just strange. It feels like the whole thing lived in some small time capsule of my heart, and then some of the things- they are totally timeless. They apply to me now as much as they did then.
People say that in life we are supposed to grow and become better humans everyday. I wonder if that ever happens. I cannot seem to shed my flaws and most of my life is spent in some giant race to get through a never ending check list in a day. Being a grown up, totally sucks. It was much more easy to just run around NYC, believing that eventually it would all work out, and not worrying about it so much. I lived with only my heart. I never listened to my mind. I was never a grown up. I was a 15 year old girl in a 22 year old body with 60 year old hips thinking that the rules didn't apply to me. I said yes to everything. I never learned to say no. I never learned balance. I wanted everything, NOW. FAST. HOT. Love.
An amazing girl Sammie just read my book for the first time and ended up making me some beautiful mini arts based on her favorite quotes. I love them. I thought for those of you who haven't picked up my book yet, that maybe you might want the short version to click through.
When I hate myself the most, I try to remember that at one point I did something right.