Keltie Knight's Blog
I am so thrilled, excited, and dying with happiness that my darling friend Emily Loftiss helped me gain a spot on superstar dancer/choreographer Joshua Horner's newest venture. Why? Because it's freaking radical. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Get into it!
Basically. You know how you spend 500 hours a week watching everyone's competition solos and duets, or class solos and judging them...well, basically I get to do that now, for real!
You can easily find out if you are the best in the state, country or WORLD with simply uploading your solo to the site. The competition ends Oct. 31st so you should start uploading NOW! There are amazing sponsors and prizes and I just think this is the coolest thing ever.
Check it out online HERE!
Here is a sexy little video of Emily + Josh talking about Dance Upon A Dream (warning: Josh is an Aussie and is accent is darling.)
It's the begining of a new month.
I had a pretty incredible month. I got to spend time with my mom in Italy and Greece. I was a part of an incredible fundraising effort with To Write Love On Her Arms. I enjoyed an amazing dinner with Christina + team CP celebrating 2 years since that magical night at SYTYCD. Swoon + I set a wedding date + hired our wedding planner. I was lucky enough to film a “Story Of” video with TWLOHA. I was also lucky enough to be asked to attend two screen-tests for my dream job + receive some pretty cool feedback. It was a really full month for me, but in essence I took some serious time away from the internet. It might have felt that way to you, but I would say I cut down my internet usage by almost 75%. I posted some old blogs while I was away. I pre-cut all my insider music interviews. I had pretty close to what a month off might feel like. Except, all the things I mentioned above....
I learned many things in my shut off mode.
I wanted to share some of those things:
-I learned that it really stinks to watch your parents get old, and that the true test of compassion and love is becoming a parent for your own parents.
-I learned that not everything that comes to my mind is deserving of a tweet/blog. It’s important to edit my own mind.
-I learned that creativity and passion cannot be created in a mind that is bogged down and stressed.
-I learned that I tend to take advantage of the most important people in my life.
-I learned what love really means, and it means, that life, as fabulous as it can get is nothing without that other person.
-I learned that the greatest thing you can do for another person is that thing that they can never pay you back for.
-I learned that things will never happen when you want or need them to happen but if you keep working hard, are a good person, and an expert at your craft then things WiLL happen.
-I learned that i’ll always feel better about myself when I eat properly and exercise. Eating properly and exercising are always hard to to, but always worth it.
-I learned that smiles always disarm people. That the easiest thing to do is to smile.
-I learned that we rarely take the time to thank the people around us who help us.
What did you guys learn this month?
I'm pretty pumped about the new Oxygen reality series based on Travis Wall + his dance company. It's been really interesting to watch the continuation of how big dance and dancers have become in our culture. This show is a step away from what I did as a professional, but really close to my favorite kind of heartbreaking, soul changing dance hobbies, contemporary. I can remember dancing with Albie (who actually appears in this show!) for hours in Las Vegas when my heart was broken. There was always just something about sweating it out in the studio that somehow made my heart feel better. I can imagine how much hard work and drama will be shown inside Shaping Sound, and I'm excited to watch some of my friends on tv! I really hope that where some other "dance reality shows" try to pull out the crazy, that somehow Oxygen and Travis are able to give us an honest look at what the professional dance world is like, there is enough drama and heartbreak for 10 reality shows!
Where are my dancers at?
Will you guys be tuning in?
Watch All The Right Moves on Oxygen at 9/8c
While I was not sleeping in Italy I did some Facebook stalking. I was messaging with my 17th year old boyfriend who had found me on Facebook. It was certainly a blast from the past. He was impossibly cute and dumped me in the parking lot of my high school a few months before prom. I saw him once or twice after that, but had just kept up to date on him through Facebook. Turns out he moved to Africa and is now a doctor helping communities rebuild their social programs and basically being a saint. I always thought he might change the world. I'm pretty sure I will love him forever.... and that's the thing about love. All these seasons of your life pass by, and with those many different groups of people that you share an all-giving closeness to...and some of those people become last names you cannot remember in your photos and some of them, you will just always love.
I can look at some of my ex's and see that they have become quarter versions of what I hoped they would become. I have other friends that have gone on to exceed every expectation I could have ever had for them. It doesn’t matter if they become an addict or walk on the moon, someone who was careless with my heart, or a friend that snuck out with me when I was 15...you just always love them. Love is an energy that never goes away. That’s what’s so hard about it, you cannot turn it off.
I think you learn to love someone, and keep that love in the past, and it become this type of love you walking away from. It it’s that is doesn’t exist, you just point your own life, and your own heart in another direction. You get smarter at love, you learn it’s totally possible to love someone and completely hate them at the same time.
You learn that years can pass and you heart can break in a million ways, in life and in relationships and you will still be able to look about and remember that person fondly. Because, for some reason time feeds this sort of beautiful nostalgia, where even the most painful things become beautiful. We hold those memories inside perfect melancholy Counting Crows songs. There is a sort of beauty in remembering old pain. I’m not sure why, but there is.
Those things that hurt your heart become these really perfect puzzle pieces in your story. I can vividly remember having 17 year old boyfriend dump me, and never wanting that night and drive home to end because I knew that when I dropped him off at his house, that I would never have him in the front seat of my car ever again. But, look at how many amazing things have happened to me and my heart since that night. Now, I thank the universe for breaking my heart that night.
We want time to stop and for things to never change in love. People are always saying “I could just lay here forever” But, I am pretty glad that I have had the chance to reinvent my life and heart over and over again. I look back on the past 10 years since I first moved to NYC and how much life those years have held. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. So, do not be afraid of this story you are living, that heartbreak, all the what if’s- I promise you will end up where you need to when you need to.
A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to work closely with a company who I hold very dear to my heart, To Write Love On Her Arms. TWLOHA asked me to model along side Boys Like Girls frontman Martin Johnson for their new campagin with SEVENLY. I had such a great day on set hanging out with Martin, Katie & Chloe from TWLOHA and the Sevenly team. Take a look at the behind scenes video below to see how our day went!
You can purchase the shirts we are wearing over at SEVENLY right now.
The shirts are only available for ONE WEEK, so get them fast!
Stay tuned for more photos and exclusives all week.
So, almost 7.5 years ago I started my first blog. I can vividly remember being the first person I knew who was collectivly spreading their thoughts on the internet. I loved being able to hide behind the screen, and tell someone...anyone....my deepest darkest secrets. I loved not having to look people in the eye when I was telling hard truths. I loved the attention. I still do.
Over time my blog has become many things. Firstly, a place of inspiration for dancers. Secondly, a very public place for me to share a very public version of the relationship I thought I was in for years. Thirdly, a place to show my truest colors. It's been a Blogspot, a Myspace and a Buzznet but it's always felt the same for me. I've always felt a great deal of pride in my little internet space. I've always worked hard to be honest, real and somewhat humble. I've tried to teach lessons to not hate, judge and jump to conclusions. I've tried to encourage others to follow their dreams and to be good to their hearts (maybe the hardest things in the world.)
I've recieved many blessings from being a blogger. Mainly, I had enough people who liked what I wrote that I was able to sell a few books, I was able to do a small book tour, I was able to meet amazing friends who also had blogs and I've recieved 22 free tee-shirts.
I've had to deal with many things because of blogging, and sharing. More than my share of horrible words about me, a collection of photoshopped insults, a google history that I will totally regret once I have children. I've had death threats, hate tweets, love tweets, the best fan photos ever. I've had the general feeling that I am useless and uncool, the constant feeling that my entire being only exists to get a certain number of hits on a certain day, and that day is everyday and when that doesn't happen a total meltdown of disappointment in myself and my life.
I've posted a blog almost everyday for all of those years, I've had my heart broken,my heart filled and I've been able to find words and songs and images to represent all the things that I've felt. I've missed parties, movies and friends because I've been comitted to you, the you that I've never met. It's bizarre... I love you.
Over the years, a collection of tools to help us share on the internet have sprung up. Twitter, FB, instagram.
The sad thing is that somewhere along the lines I:
-Stopped having conversations with people, instead I say, "Omg! I have to tweet what you said" and stick my face in my phone.
-Began hating the way I actually look in real life, the me without a fancy Instagram filer that fades my imperfections.
-Stopped telling my real life friends things, instead I just update some random status.
-Writing in my journal.
-Calling my friends.
-Taking pictures because something is beautiful, or it's something I want to remember, I take photos so that I can share them. Nothing is sacred.
I think that life is about balance, I think that the reason you say yes to an amazing man when he asks you to marry him is so that you can wake up each morning in the warm embrace of love. I know that being addicted to your iPhone and choosing the style section of Huffington Post over the love of your life is a horrible mistake that tons of us make. I know that the best friendships I have are the ones that were cultivated in real time, with real talks, without the agressive need to create some memory that is memorable because of a photo or update. One time Christina used to come to NYC and sit in my window and we would talk for hours. One time I used to watch TV without my cell phone in my hand because I wanted to follow along to some hashtag. One time I used to write for hours and hours in journals. I don't know when all of that faded into the unbalanced life I currently lead.
Look, I love the internet. But, I'm an addict. I'm convinced that nothing is good unless 100 people "like" it. But the truth is that, likes and loves and tweet and followers- they are such small pieces of our human story. We are all trying and working so hard to live our story for everyone else to see that I don't feel like we are seeing what is directly in front of us anymore, or at least...I am not.
I've become addicted to being important, on the internet. I've become cold with jealousy of all of those who have more than me. I've become an unbalanced version of the person I am trying to inspire you all to be.
On Sunday, I am leaving to go see some of the world. I'm taking my Mom to Greece and Italy because she's been talking about going since I was 15,now I'm thirty, and everyone who you never think will get old, both my Mom and myself, do. Time is running out, I have to be present in my own life, I have to learn to spend equal amounts of time sharing and living. I have to balance out the richness I have in strangers comments and the richness I have in eye contact with my best friends, I have to go live.
I'm taking time away from all my socials for the entire month of July. You might see a few posts from The Insider, or random things that might find their way onto my timelines, but I'm turning off. I'm going to find my soul and my heart and my balance. It dones't mean I don't love you, it just means I love you enough to share with you a great lesson. No one is going to look back on their life and think, "man, I should have spent more time in my house alone photoshopping Miley Cyrus heads on wedding dresses."
I'm going to go take photos because the world is beautiful and I've spent so much of my life staring at the screen instead of the sunset.
I'll be back. Better, Stronger, With Vision....Inspired
and mostly, with Balance.
seeyouthen. bon voyage!
You have blown me away with your continued effort and excitement over my book giveaway. Together, you helped me get pretty close to my goal of selling 500 books, and totally got the word out. Thank you for all your shout out's, tweets, facebooks and instagrams!
The winners of an authographed paperback copy of Rockettes, Rockstars and Rockbottom are:
Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your names and addresses , and remember that you can join my FANZY on FACEBOOK starting July 1st to win all kinds of crazy amazing prizes just by talking about me (and also, I love it when people talk about me.)
I was pretty excited when Tom Gates first fell into my life. He entered as a facebook name, writing Christina about working with her, and has had to slap me around to not give up on myself a few times since then, he also shares the same sense of wanderlust that I do.
Tom spent many years managing one of my favorite bands of all time, Brand New (insert: he has inside scoop I want) and then took a year off to travel around the world, and eat dog. Yes, he ate dog. You'll have to read the book. "Wayward" is an adorable little collection that can be read on a flight, or a weekend. It made me long for adventure, and it made me want to be brave. I think that is all we can ask for from the best books, a little pat on the back that says "keep going" or "you can do that too." The book had a throughline of acceptance and adversity. I'm really proud of Tom, now back to the scoop on Brand New. (and Fun. oh ...and a little gal named CP.)
You started your career as the manager for one of my favorite bands of all time Brand New, What is your favorite Brand New song and why?
It’s an unreleased demo called “DVD Song”, which was a placeholder title. It was written in the batch before "Devil & God" and never leaked, like many of the other demos did. It was recorded in a living room. Jesse would just keep playing the chorus during the Deja tours, taunting me because he knew that I love a big hulking hook. I listen to it every once in a while and just grin ear to ear that nobody has ever heard it but Sapone, the band and me. Fans would stone cold faint. It’s a smash.
Why leave the uber magical world of managing famous bands (something everyone wishes they could do) to go travel and write?
I had always wanted to take a year to travel. I got so wrapped up in the music world that a decade went by with that dream still in the back of my head. I looked around and saw that I was, in fact, getting old. If I was ever going to do it, it needed to happen soon. It was incredibly difficult to walk away from, especially because Nate, Andrew & Jack had just formed Fun. and were making that first album. I knew I was doing this great thing for myself but I kind of felt like I was abandoning all of my kids, all of the bands. Big lesson:Everyone’s going to be fine.
The other thing is that for so many years I had promoted other artists’ work. I knew that I had at least one book in me and wanted to go through the experience of creating something myself. Now when I have to do a phone interview at 5am I want to hang myself. I have a lot more empathy for what artists have to do to promote their stuff.
What lessons did you learn on your journey that you now implement in your life now that you have returned to managing huge musical acts?
My life has a lot more levity now, after the trip. Anyone who travels will tell you that one of its greatest gifts is perspective. Being trapped on a desolate island in Fiji (it happened) – that’s a problem. Realizing you’re out of ketchup after you’ve just made a burger, not a big deal. I’ve been in places where wells ran dry, I have been on a 15 hour train ride through India, I’ve been completely lost in third world countries, I’ve ridden in the back of pickup trucks with livestock…the bad days aren’t really that overwhelming now.
As someone who also self-published? What are the positives and negatives about self publishing? I think many bloggers and Buzznet user's dream up excellent ideas for books, what would be your advice to them?
You really need to commit to an incredible amount of work if you self-publish. I’m a one-man sweatshop that operates out of my kitchen table. If you think it’s about one day’s worth of promotion, or one week’s worth of attention, you’re wrong. Book sales can spike and fall in an hour. Your heart will just about blow out of your chest with excitement one day, and then next day you’ll falter when you see a big goose-egg in your sales report.
Most important, I think, is to work your ass off to make the book feel like it’s been edited and isn’t rinky dink. Have every person you know comb through it and pick it apart. If it feels self-published, you’re doomed.
I always think of this book as my first EP, in music terms. I wouldn’t do this book any other way. It’s my little statement and mine to champion. I can’t imagine the cover art would have been done by anyone other than Sam Means. It’s 100% my thing. I love the little wins, when a bookstore takes in ten copies and I have to find a way to sell them. It reminds me of all of the hard work my musician friends have done for all of these years.
One night I was dancing around my bedroom while my friend Christina sang, and the next morning we woke to a facebook message from you- inquiring about Christina. That still seems bizarre. What advice would you give to aspiring musicians in order to attract the attention of a top manager?
Don’t wait around. Christina was busting her ass waitressing and was recording music when I met her, and putting it out there on Youtube. She was storming down this path and was going to get her break no matter what. She pushed it all to happen, I was just there to pull at the right moment and then listen to you two scream like maniacs when it all got going.
Also, you’d be surprised at how many unsolicited emails I reply to. I listen to music that people send me, videos that young directors send me, photographers looking for a break, I always have. It’s pretty easy to track me down, the hard part is gathering up the nads to write the email. I’ve ended up working with some great people through some rather loose connections. Don’t be afraid to cold call. We aren’t all robots, but I will tell you if I think what you’re doing is terrible, so beware!
Favorite book you have ever read?
I think that the book that influenced me earliest and hardest was A Prayer For Owen Meany by John Irving. My favorite thing that has ever been writtenis a short story by Dave Eggers called After I was Thrown In The River and Before I Drowned.
The one that carried me through as a writer was Stephen King’s On Writing, a must for anyone who wants to write anything.
Favorite song you have ever heard?
If you’re going to push me into it, it would probably be “God Loves Everyone” by Ron Sexsmith.
What places have you yet to travel that you haven't yet?
I get physically anxious thinking about this, the way some people get nervous before a sporting event. There is so much world out there and I feel like I have way too many places to see. I would honestly go anywhere, any time, barring countries where people want to chop my head off or hang me. I have been daydreaming about Bhutan a lot lately. They only allow a certain number of tourists a year, and once in the country you pay them a daily amount and they take care of you. You actually can’t even book your own travel inside the country. I love the idea of handing myself over to someone else like that.
Reading your book made me feel incredibly small and like I haven't even lived yet. Was your intention to set fire to asense of wanderlust in your readers?
Not at all. The book for me was more to report back about what I took from the trip. I really never thought about readers when writing it, which is probably why it’s a naughty read in a couple of parts. My writer heroes do it selfishly, and I guess I’m a selfish writer too.
I am a big fan of being open and honest, sometimes to my own determent. We you at all worried about publishing sure a raw, honest book, and then returning to the business world?
Terrified. I certainly didn’t want Aunt Becky to ever hear about what happened in that club in Argentina, or what happened on that Island in Fiji, or that I ate dog. I grew more brave as some of these pieces were published online, and people seemed to get what I was doing.
The breakthrough came when I blogged a story called "On Drowning", which is about a band that I managed called The Format breaking up the same day I’d found a dead boy in a pool. There was never going to be a moment where I put it out there more, and the response really encouraged me to follow my own path. It also helped me reckon with it all.
Would you choose to become a writer or stay on the road?!
You all know how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE crafts, and when BUZZMEDIA threw their big summer party with KARMIN, I was so excited because they let me set up a table and make crafts with people. woooot! I was scanning the internet for a craft that would be awesome for both boys and girls, and I found one of my favorite DIY bloggers I SPY DIY had posted this awesome photo to pinterest about how to make a bungee cord bracelet, so I picked up the supplies and began making them.
The awesome JOHN at Buzznet stopped by my table and filmed a little video of me + my crafting sister Kelsey of HALE Jewelry making the bracelets! They are super easy, and I know most people can find an old bungy in their garages somewhere to make this!
I meditated on this today:
I will suppress the urge to win arguments and prove I am right.
I will measure my words ever so carefully and make sure I speak the truth in love.
I am not a slave to the opinions of others.
I will keep silent when the opportunity comes to talk behind someone's back.
I will take responsibility for my reactions to people and stop blaming others for how I am.
I will not stand on the side and allow the music in my heart to fade away.
We can all be better, each and everyday is a new day to reinvent ourselves.